Let me hear your opinion I'm new to this website and community. i'd love to get some criticism on my writing.. i do it just for fun.
Time heals all wounds, so they say... Things are suppose to get better day by day...
Put on a smile,and tell yourself that those memories will fade away. Yet, the memory of you haunts me everyday.
Every breathe feels like razors every hour, like a crushed flower, disembodied images are starring back at me. Nothing feels the same anymore, I'm not me. Just like a washed up corpse on the shore, Emptiness creeps up from my back door.
Drowning in my own misery, I thought you'd be here to save me.
I see what you don't So I'm new to this community, and I pretty much think that most of your writting is kick ass. I'll post one of my old poems I wrote about 4 years ago..I hope that at least someone will be impressed...(None of my poems rymne by the way).
I see what you dont ----------------------------------
I see people threatening To pull out the gun To pull that trigger
I see people wanting to die To get rid of the pain To get rid of the hurt
I see people slitting their wrists To relieve their problems To forget their pains
I see people walking on the edge of life To fall and fall again To do just as they have to and not care
I see people using drugs To relieve stress To get that high
I see people dieing To get away To leave the pain of life
I see what you don’t, This is written to a world of pain, To a life that isn’t seen worth living.
Dear Lust To DEAR LUST from your secret adorer -------------------------------------------------- phy inspiration / bandung, night trip 19:45 130105
I adore you over lust empowered by the countless feathers over soul your floodlight had me devoured a sphere of luminescence the white, the eyes, the angelic face an angelic glance the faultless smile over my weaknesses
over mind, the world flipped a bubble that wouldn't pop a tumble that wouldn't stop a new color in my stagnant sky color of orange, blue, mahogany dying my grey life coin
when the feathers fall, a faint follows upon a smile a throb struck within the awe of mine
...and mine over thoughts it was vivid inside my world the blossom of the winter flower like the first snowflakes as the warm sunrays you're a gentle breeze a distant wish a new northern star within the same old sky reachless, an impossible dignity of those ever longed everything reachless...
i know that i'd ever had what i dreamt that's it's only vain, poor wanting let me just adore the new mahogany in my chimney thank you for such a silly little angel over me
We've created a site for writers and readers to come and share the joy of words! Our-Muse.com is the place, and we need your help! We've just gone online, and our archives are a bit...empty. That's where you come in! Submit your work to us...long stories, short stories, poetry, songs, or whatever else moves your writing hand, and if we like it, we'll post it on our site for millions to read. We want to provide a place for writers to get their stuff out there for others to read, and we can't do it without you! Sound good? Visit http://www.our-muse.com now and get writing!
JUDGE THIS. Oh, isn't she beautiful, don't you think so too? Yes, such perfectness, I think so, I do. Move those lips, say something nice, something we want to hear, and make sure to say it right. And everyone will smile, yes, everyone is pleased. There can't be anyone, a girl that nice would want to tease. But I hope you didn't expect, to get all of the attention, since people who seem happy don't get the leading roles.
So wipe off your smile, and try to cry. Because someday your smile will froze too, and eternity is only a whisper. Sorrow is after all, the currency of the world.
Writing fiends of all calibres! Reality Is Overrated has finally arrived to a web space just one click away. We have editors and writers, and hopefully you will also come across some publishing opportunities. So, why not join now!
Warning: may contain nuts and insane persons alike.
Ps: please read the rules when you get there. Wouldn’t want too have too send you all to hell.
How to Change the World.... When I look around at the world, I see so much beauty and at the same time so much pain. We live with the idea that things are getting better and that our lives are worth something. I find myself struggling to believe both those ideas. I see a civilization lost and confused about what it is supposed to be. When a group of people have the power to change to the world for the better and don't... what does that say about the rest of us. What are we and who are we becoming. If there is truely a battle bewteen heaven and hell, could you tell me heaven is winning? There are things about life which I will never understand and maybe I am not made to understand those things in the first place. But I find our existence to be meaningless. We strive for better "things" and not to be better people. We are defined by clothes, cars, money, and how much perfume we wear. When we will look around and say to ourselves, "I wont live this way anymore! There has to be something more?" Maybe we will never do this as a collective whole. To make a difference it doesnt matter if only a few people do it, we must all come to a greater realization about life. I know I must work harder to achieve this enlightenment. But it difficult to know in which direction to look. Do I continue to live the life which makes me happy or live the life which would be more meaningfull? This is the question that all people my age should be asking themselves. Whether there is an answer or not I can't begin to promise you. But I can promise that we will all be better people for just taking the journey. What I wish for now is everyone to walk hand and hand to a better tommorow. If we all just care a little more about each other, we can make this a better place to live. For right now we are just looking into the mirror and deciding that the reflextion we see is the only thing that matters. I emplore you to break that mirror and look out into the world and serve everything thing you see. What a world we could live in... if we only just walked together instead of alone.
P.S. If you want to change the world with me, let me know. We are capable of some amazing things if we only try.
Truth If Only the tears are to tell the truth, I believe One drop for tomorrow, yet another one for her As if they wash away my regret in life My voice is too weak to tell the truth So i gimmic the sounds, here another truth in there The meaning of life in a sense I spent years and years to find out what it is Now I'm laying down here to sing an another tune for U The darkness swallows all of my hope and happiness I cant stop it.....it stops my heaven, oasis... If only the tears are to tell the truth, tell me About the days I was in dark when I was a child I still carry this broken heart with me Till the days it tells me about its feelings to me
1st entry! Alright, so I'm new to this community. I've never posted poetry anywhere, but I thought maybe it would be a good idea to start. Don't have much experience with writing... but it helps me vent. Let me know what you think... critical views of my stuff is nice to have. Here's the first... I'll post more later.
Cupid is a Comedian
Practical jokes with mortal hearts Laughing himself to tears as We cry picking up the pieces.
His bow and arrow shoots us, Stabs us, leaving us bleeding Never wanting more - Never.
Until he starts to feel bad for Himself- his sadness takes over. His mission is now changed.
His happiness is at stake as He has only one more arrow for me.
Mod post I know I haven't really been keeping up with this community. I have full time school now, and two jobs. I really want someone else to take over for me. Someone who will bring in new members and post their new poetry and keep an eye on what's going on.
If you're interested in taking over this community please reply to this post. I will be gone for a few days but when I come back (this Wednesday or Thursday) I will read over all the comments and decide what to do.
To all members: Thank you for joining and welcome!
Seventeen 17 Every moments I see, Seventen As vast as the ocean and swallows everything You can be as you are Everything has to be true as much as can be Too young at 16, Too old at 25, Seventeen Noises can be heard the best within me Strong and Vividly and I embrace them Hold my sugar till it melts into your heart Feelings and memories turn to be the golden roses, and i feel them in nostalgic
Sadness never stop, but instinctly it makes you more pleasant You go so dark, but it gets brighter than anything else in the world
Im falling down.... Broken heart inside mine Whispering your soul to me Cant control my impulse it bruises like a hurricane......
Smile, scream and cry as natural as can be I can listen to your pure heart whispering me gently, my seventeen The moments I can never go back to The feelings I can never get back Disappointed and disillusioned by deceitful You're running away from the reality, Seventeen Fly as my golden forever, Seventeen
Frozen in time. . . Lost in space. . . His hand in mine. . . Can you finish the race? Tears in her eyes. . . A hollow heart. . . Sweet, sweet sorrow, Never depart. Do you feel the pain? The pain. . .it's real. Did you make the bet... That sealed the deal? The choice is yours. . . Start tonight. Do not wait. . . Stop the fight. . . Regain your strength. . . Make old, new... What's yours Is mine, And what's me is you. . .
Misery Hallelujah La miserable Do you wanna show me how low & low? Say Hellelujah Your pain happily falling down on me with its wings spreading widely The afternoon light covers all your wounds and spread it all around gently
Hallelujah La Miserable listening to the star's grief Hallelujah La Miserable Such a small thing Say Hallelujah Maybe its a small thing to forget once falling into the dark of the night My swinging feelings, my momentary dream Such a tiny tragedy I may get tired of crying By watching how many starts falling down The blue color of smiling moon Carressing my wound and closing it
Stay free your misery Embrace those falling sadness in your arms Kiss your misery I may dance till i get worn out accepting everything as it is Stay free my misery Stay free my misery Stay free my misery Stay free my misery If the wind is only to let my pain explode all around Stay free my misery Lets wait for sun and rain Hey, lets eat your tears
If you grieve your sadness Even the color blue of the sky Youd cry for being Irritated by unable to reach
Stay free my misery Accept the pain that I can feel if i stretch my arms Stay free your miser Accept love, hate, as it is Stay free your misery Stay free my misery Embrace the falling sadness in your arms Stay free your misery I may dance till im worn out Accept everything and you smile under this sky
Hallelujah La Miserable I wanna show you how low & low Hellelujah La Miserable Do you wanna show me how low & low Hallelujah La Miserable I wanna show you how low & low Hellelujah La Miserable Do you wanna show me how low & low Say Hallelujah!
my dry eyes weep softly, while morning is night and loud people whisper, the wingless take flight
subdued yelling children, throw air at the sky the people in April, fall dead in July
a mountain of troubles, is lessened with fears begrudging employees, drink barrels of beers
hopeful dictators drink tropical punch and mommy and daddy have gone out to lunch.
Hope. Is There Any Left?
Stuck inside a world of hate, Wishing things were different. People are not perfect, Why should I be any different? Problems lie ahead of us, Obstacles behind. And what it is we’re looking for, We can never seem to find. Once upon a summertime, Once upon a fall. I knew a life that was okay, And nothing seemed to fail. It seems that now I’ve woken up, And everything has changed. My home, my friends, my hopes, my life, Completely rearranged. There is nothing I can do, But stand against the wall. And watch “Invisiblitit-ly” As things begin to fall. And all the while I’m wondering, How did it get this way? What can I do to fix it? What should I think? What should I say? I cannot find the reason I cannot find the time I cannot find the meaning And so I’ll stop this rhyme. I need great help deciding How to change and who to be Because through all of this chaos I’ve lost the real me.
k well im new as you prolly'v noticed and i write poems. some are totally pointless and some aren't. it depends what mood i'm in. 'll write oodles more laters.